Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be