It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
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what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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