dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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