I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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