your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
