On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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