Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
