it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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