Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
