Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
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He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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