**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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