yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
