There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
