I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
