The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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