I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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