clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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