i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
