It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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