I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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