perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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