all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
