Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
