so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
