they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
