there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
