3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
