So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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