Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
