Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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