I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
