Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
