sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
