He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
