your room smells of hookers.
And success
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
