he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
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I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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