she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Be still, my beating vagina.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
