Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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