So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize