I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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