Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
