Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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