she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
