If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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