i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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