Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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