it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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