she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
