remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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