I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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