dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
