I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
