She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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