when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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