Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Randomize
