You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
