I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
