You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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