so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
