I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
