No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
