i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
