I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
