so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
