He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
